The past year can only be described as a personal unravelling. Late in 2019, the penny finally dropped and I knew what I wanted to do, what I was meant to do, where I wanted to go in life. So I jumped into it with gusto.
And then I proceeded to spend most of 2020 unlearning everything I thought I knew about myself. While building a business. In the middle of a pandemic. What a genius idea, right?
Actually, I think it was.
In doing so, it kept me busy so I spent less time worrying about the scary pandemic that I had no control over anyway. Worrying wasn’t going to make it any easier for me so that was one less stress to think about.
I also had more time to explore, stretch and grow. Unlearn and relearn. Rest and renew. Being in lockdown for the wide majority of the year meant I wasn’t able to get distracted by going out and doing things. I had to sit at home with the uncomfortableness. I had to sit at home with those feelings and make choices whether to stretch myself or retreat into myself.
I chose to stretch. And I’m still stretching myself, every day. I’ve gone so far out of my comfort zone in the past year, I’m amazed at myself. And without that growth, I wouldn’t be sitting here as CEO of a hybrid publishing company or having started my formal qualification to do writing coaching for the authors I work with and most certainly I would not be sitting here calling myself a writer.
I am determined to write my books and get at least one out this year that has my name on the cover.
Typing that I felt myself take a deep breath. It’s scary. But I think it’s just on the right side of scary. Big enough to be a stretch but not intimidating enough to run away from entirely. It helps when you really want it.
And I do. I’ve always wanted it. I’ve always wanted to write and tell stories. It was all I ever thought about when I was little. Long before the world told me I couldn’t, that I wasn’t good enough.
In embracing my authentic self I’m saying that I can do it and that I am good enough.
I can’t wait to get started on this fresh new chapter in my life.